Reading the book is, like, so 2008

I'd like to thank Entertainment Weekly for undoing the work of lots of great book reviewers out there in their review of Catching Fire. Concerning this review, EW's incompetency is simply astounding.

Honestly, I don't care that EW gave the book a "C." The letter grades that EW assigns books, movies, and music are really more a ballpark estimate to me than anything else. What ticks me off is that the reviewer doesn't appear to have read The Hunger Games OR Catching Fire, yet complains that the book lacks "the erotic energy that makes Twilight, for instance, so creepily alluring." (I wish I could make that up. I'm a little skeeved out just reading it.)

Really, EW? That was low. It's a comparison of apples and pineapples. Catching Fire isn't meant to have erotic energy. It's a post-apocalyptic adventure. It's not meant to be "creepily alluring." I'm willing to bet that the reviewer, Jennifer Reese, has never read a YA novel other than TSVB. Of course, she doesnt need to, because TSVB is representative of the entire genre, right? I mean, according to her review standards, I can give Julie and Julia the same letter grade/review that I give Methland because they're both memoirs, right? And I can say that Methland is an inferior book because it's not happy and about food, yes?

I'm all for comparing similar books in a review. That's good reader's advisory and it's an essential part of developing a book's marketing plan. What brings down the quality of a review is expecting one book to be representative of an entire genre, as EW has done, and complaining when books in that genre aren't all the same. It's not fair for to give Catching Fire a bad review because it's not what Ms Reese wanted it to be. You might as well get mad at a pair of pumps for not being a pair of Wellington boots.

Now I need to go shoe shopping.

In the Guardian: How to Write

Even though I have no interesting in writing a novel of my own, I love to read writers' boards and publishing blogs. I guess it's the same thing in my head that makes me love Project Runway even though I can't thread a needle. I like seeing what goes into works of art, and how industry trends shape. Today's Guardian has an essay series everyone who loves children's an YA books will want to read, titled How to Write.

Child's play: Writing for children means thinking about your own past, while staying in touch with young people now by Michael Rosen


Genre in Children's Writing by Linda Newbery and Meg Rosoff

Characters and Viewpoint by Linda Newbery, Michael Lawrence and Lauren Child

There are many more essays in the series. My favorite essay of the bunch is David Fickling's (he's the man behind books like Before I Die and A Swift Pure Cry): What next? Don't want to end up on publishers' slush piles? Read out loud before you get read. It begins:

Not everyone can sing. Not everyone can write. Even fewer people can sing professionally. Even fewer can write professionally. Do not be like those poor deluded souls who audition for the X Factor and clearly can't sing for toffee. There are far too many hopelessly written typescripts sloshing about on publisher's slush piles. They clog up the system and are a waste of everybody's time, particularly if you are a good writer yourself. There is a mistaken view that writing for children is easy. It isn't. There is another view that children's books today are of generally poor quality. They aren't.

Someday I want to meet this man just so I can shake his hand. The truth is, not everyone can do everything no matter how badly they want to. We all have talents, and we all have things that we will never do well no matter how much we practice or how good we think we are. For some people, that thing they will never do well is writing. But I'll let you decide on the rest of it for yourself.

The Berenstain Bears Get Nose Jobs

This might be the most disturbing article I've seen in a while short of that one from Philadelphia Magazine about 8-year-olds getting bikini waxes: Mommy 2.0. For the linkphobic, the article is basically about a new children's book written by a plastic surgeon about moms who have plastic surgeries and how their kids can cope with Mommy's recovery. It's available through Big Tent Books, hyperstylized depictions of the female form and all.

And just when you thought there was a children's book to deal with every possible issue a four-to-seven-year-old could possibly encounter...

Seriously, if people want to get plastic surgery, go ahead. It's not my place to tell people how to spend their money and there are several procedures I myself would consider if I weren't deathly afraid of pain and had more than $25 to my name. But there is a set of questions that come with this book that frighten me a little. If Mommy doesn't like her nose and little Susie looks like Mommy, does that mean Susie is ugly to Mommy? Are mommies who haven't had surgery inherently less beautiful? Why do we all have to conform to one kind of beauty, anyway? Larger philosophical questions aside, I find it kind of scary that there's a need for this book.

Also, the geeky side of me wonders how many copies it's going to sell.